00:00:11.680 –> 00:00:13.680
[Music]
00:00:13.680 –> 00:00:16.160
M: Hello!
00:00:16.160 –> 00:00:20.320
Oh, I can’t see if it’s recording.
Let me just check. Okay, good.
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I’m gonna have to check it
like every 10 minutes or so.
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H: Oh yeah… that’s okay. As long as we’ll remember.
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M: We’ll see.
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H: I’m so glad I can see at least
your mouth and your nose now.
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M: If I sit back, maybe you can
see my eyes a little. This is
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not a cute angle though, so I’m not gonna do it.
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Hello! I’m in my car.
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I live in a very small house. And today in
that small house are: the babysitter and my baby
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and also my husband, who is on
lots of meetings on his computer.
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So there was no room for me to be in and also
talk in. So here I am, in the car, parked at a
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starbucks, using their wi-fi. And it’s a great
time. So that’s how I’m doing. How are you?
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H: I really appreciate your
creativity and commitment to this.
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M: You know, I’m not available a lot,
so we got to use the time we have.
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H: I’m still a little concerned that you’ll
be cold, but we’ll see how it goes.
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M: I probably will be at some point. But I’ve
got lots of layers. I’ve even got sweatpants,
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I can put on over my pants, if I get super cold.
I brought those with me. So I think we’ll be fine.
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H: You are really prepared, I’m impressed.
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M: Look. I don’t like to be hot also,
so that’s good. I don’t know what
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that “look” was about. It was very serious,
but I didn’t have anything to follow it up with.
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So here we are. What are we talking about today?
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H: Well, I am very unprepared. We just did a
two-minute check-in before we started to record
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and I realized even more how unprepared I am.
But we’re gonna talk about pregnancy rules today.
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M: Ah, you’re as of yet so innocent and outside
of this whole whirlpool of judgment and extreme
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opinions. So congratulations, you’re doing
great! And I say that glibly but it really is.
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It’s a serious topic, because obviously, anyone
who gets pregnant wants to take care of their
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baby and their body, so that they can
have as uneventful a pregnancy as possible
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and as safe a pregnancy as possible. There have
been a good number of studies done on what’s
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safe and what’s not safe. Unfortunately a lot of
them are inconclusive and so sometimes the rules
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end up being just like: “To be on the safe side do
this or don’t do this.” And there’s a lot of myths
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and traditional ideas of what pregnant
people are supposed to and or allowed to do.
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Which then, as a pregnant person,
you then have to deal with
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other people trying to enforce
pregnancy rules on you.
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And I’m not that into rules in general, so this
was something that I definitely struggled with in
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my pregnancy. I also dealt with a lot of guilt
and I’m sure other people have dealt with that
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as well. Around what I was choosing to do and how
I was choosing to eat and what I was choosing to
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physically do and all of that sort of stuff.
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So I kind of want to ask you, I know you said
that you don’t really know yet, but is there
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or are there a couple of things that
you’re nervous about and like are afraid
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either that you will or won’t be able to do or
that people will like get on your case about?
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H: I am unsure about supplementation, because,
I’ve… When I started, when I switched to a vegan
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diet and started to really look into: Okay,
what really is healthy and what do I really need
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and where do I get it? I also learned some about
how that applies to pregnancy and how maybe
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some things that are being said are not that true
actually. So I’m a little nervous about that and
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just want someone that has a similar lifestyle to
me and has done all the research and understands
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all the things to tell me: “Take this one thing
and then you’re all set.” That’s what I want.
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M: Yeah, wouldn’t that be nice.
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H: Yeah. I haven’t… So, I haven’t done hardcore
research in that, because I thought
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there’s going to be more research
when my time comes. So it’s maybe not
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really useful to do it now and I’ll just
like… I’ve been putting it off until
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when it becomes really relevant. And I’ve been
focusing more on just being as healthy as I can
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in advance. To just have a healthy body
as a healthy home to the growing human.
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M: A healthy home
for a growing human. That’s really cute. I like that.
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H: And then something I’m nervous
about is what you said. About like strong
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opinions of other people. Because I think there
are going to be quite some things that I do quite
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differently than most people. Maybe than is
the considered norm.
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And I’m even hesitant to say
this on here. For example: I,
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so far, as of today, plan on, want to get
all of my care from a midwife and not
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go to a doctor, a gynecologist at all. Like I don’t
want to get ultrasounds, for example. I don’t wanna…
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Yeah, let’s stick with that:
Ultrasounds. And I feel like,
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that’s gonna be something that people
have opinions about and get scared off
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and think that like I’m putting myself
and the baby in danger, if I don’t do that.
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Yeah, let’s stop here.
00:08:04.716 –> 00:08:16.160
M: Yeah, yeah, no, that’s
totally fair. And I think, that you’re not off base there. I think you will get some reactions to that. But I mean, knowing
00:08:16.720 –> 00:08:24.200
how in tune with and responsive you are to
your own body, and let me also say…
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H: But YOU know that.
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M: Right, right, exactly.
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H: You saying that, is YOU saying that.
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M: No, I know.
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H: Other people that will have those reactions, might not know me that well and trust my assessment of that.
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M: Well, and that’s the thing. And that’s part of, part of our whole shtick and part specifically of this conversation, is that:
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Anyone outside of that pregnant person doesn’t know what went into the decisions that they’re making.
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So there are so many factors that go into, one: How the rules
get made up or get decided on. And then also:
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How you decide, how to implement
that in your own pregnancy.
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So yeah, I mean, the the easiest set of
pregnancy rules to talk about is of course like
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food stuff, right? That you are supposed
to avoid anything unpasteurized, because
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of a higher likelihood of like listeria
and other foodborne illnesses, that could
00:09:43.120 –> 00:09:49.520
give you food poisoning. And I read somewhere,
that that like, the concern there was that, you
00:09:49.520 –> 00:09:54.240
get dehydrated. And specifically with listeria, it’s
been linked to miscarriage and stuff like that.
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So things like lunch meats and unpasteurized
cheeses and things. And like sushi. So fish,
00:10:04.400 –> 00:10:08.880
that may or may not have… raw fish that
may or may not have been well handled.
00:10:09.440 –> 00:10:14.640
And all of all of those sorts of
rules are basically to reduce risk.
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Like, it’s an easy thing to reduce. Oh, and
runny eggs. Oh, god. That one made me so sad.
00:10:24.160 –> 00:10:32.320
Made me so sad. Scrambled eggs are the
worst. Hot take: I don’t like scrambled eggs.
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And if you eat hard-boiled eggs or over hard eggs,
you’re just… I don’t understand your lifestyle.
00:10:41.040 –> 00:10:45.840
I don’t understand the decisions you
make. And I don’t know, if we could be friends.
00:10:47.680 –> 00:10:50.340
So that’s how I feel about runny eggs.
00:10:50.340 –> 00:10:51.040
H: All right.
00:10:53.680 –> 00:10:56.480
M: No, that that was obviously a joke.
00:10:59.280 –> 00:11:05.520
But yeah. So all of those are reducing your
risk, right? It’s not that every time you eat
00:11:06.640 –> 00:11:11.360
those things, you’re going to make
yourself or your baby sick. It’s that
00:11:12.560 –> 00:11:20.720
if those things, those things are susceptible to
or are the most susceptible to these bacteria or
00:11:20.720 –> 00:11:28.160
foodborne illnesses and therefore, eating them puts
you at more of a risk than not eating them does.
00:11:28.880 –> 00:11:36.000
Not eating them does. So there’s
that sort of thing. There’s like:
00:11:38.560 –> 00:11:42.480
God, all kinds of things. Some places say
pineapple you shouldn’t eat when you’re
00:11:42.480 –> 00:11:50.000
pregnant. I have no idea what that’s about. I hadn’t really… I don’t think that that’s like a…
00:11:52.880 –> 00:11:56.720
But again: like… so, here’s the other
thing: The rules are many and various.
00:11:58.720 –> 00:12:05.280
And so, what I… what I did in my
pregnancy and what I tend to do is:
00:12:06.720 –> 00:12:14.240
One: I have trouble following food
rules, period. I have trouble following
00:12:14.800 –> 00:12:18.560
anything hard and fast, period.
You want me to check my recording?
00:12:19.634 –> 00:12:24.500
H: Yeah, sure! Oh. that was good, yeah. I checked mine
and that hinted at you, to check yours.
00:12:24.500 –> 00:12:27.200
M: Yeah, it’s still recording. Go team!
00:12:29.520 –> 00:12:42.720
I have trouble with any hard and fast rules
or decisions. I am a Myers Briggs P to like…
00:12:42.720 –> 00:12:49.280
Which is perceiving. Which means, that anything and
everything, if I receive new information, I am open
00:12:49.280 –> 00:12:57.520
to changing my opinion. I’m open to changing my
mind from moment to moment. And I generally
00:12:57.520 –> 00:13:05.520
think that’s a really good thing. Sometimes it
makes it really hard to make lifestyle choices
00:13:05.520 –> 00:13:12.480
and then stick with them. So like, when I started
my pregnancy, I was eating mostly vegan. I was
00:13:14.480 –> 00:13:18.800
eating vegan at home, shopping vegan,
cooking vegan, and then when I went out,
00:13:19.440 –> 00:13:25.600
I didn’t have as strict rules on myself. I would
eat mostly vegetarian. Occasionally some chicken.
00:13:27.760 –> 00:13:31.280
And you know, I love me some runny
eggs. So, when I’d go out to breakfast
00:13:31.280 –> 00:13:38.000
I’d sometimes get some eggs. So that
was sort of where I had landed in terms of
00:13:38.000 –> 00:13:48.640
how I was living and how I was eating basically,
more specifically. And then I got pregnant
00:13:49.360 –> 00:13:57.520
and my only craving that I had throughout
my entire pregnancy was melted cheese.
00:13:59.280 –> 00:14:02.285
Not cheese. Melted cheese!
00:14:02.285 –> 00:14:04.551
H: I didn’t know this!
00:14:04.551 –> 00:14:11.367
M: Literally a
plate of melted cheese.
00:14:11.367 –> 00:14:12.080
H: Like, just the melted cheese?
00:14:12.080 –> 00:14:16.181
M: Occasionally I would put pretzels into
the cheese.
00:14:16.181 –> 00:14:20.067
H: Why did I not know this? That’s so funny!
00:14:20.960 –> 00:14:27.567
M: Because I have, in the past, been nervous to talk to
you about things that I eat, that are not vegan.
00:14:27.567 –> 00:14:29.666
H: Oh, yeah, of course, I get that.
00:14:29.666 –> 00:14:41.600
M: Because we started out like… basically, you became vegan, because I was starting to be vegan, and then you like went whole
hog, all the way in. Or whole no hog, should I say.
00:14:42.160 –> 00:14:49.334
And I never went all the way.
00:14:49.334 –> 00:14:57.920
H: Yeah, I think you were already two years or something before I started looking into it, you were already like, not eating beef and trying to reduce.
00:14:57.920 –> 00:15:04.960
And then two years later, I like, from one day to the next, I was ike: “Oh, I turned vegan yesterday. Look at my fridge!”
00:15:04.960 –> 00:15:07.950
And it never changed. Like it’s been 100%.
00:15:07.950 –> 00:15:12.080
M: Yeah, you are not a P my dear. You are a hundred percent a J.
00:15:12.720 –> 00:15:20.000
H: I’ve been trying to remember. You might be right. I wanna look… Oh actually, I can. While you talk I’m gonna look that up.
00:15:20.000 –> 00:15:26.000
M: Okay, look it up.
But my my perception of you is, that you’re a J.
00:15:26.560 –> 00:15:33.040
Which again, can be great, but
also provides its own downfalls.
00:15:33.600 –> 00:15:46.000
It’s really good for sticking with decisions. So yeah, melted cheese was the beginning of the end
00:15:47.120 –> 00:15:53.800
of my veganism throughout pregnancy. I shouldn’t say veganism should I?
00:15:53.800 –> 00:16:01.134
H: I think 99% of the people on this planet can understand
this craving. I mean, melted cheese? Come on.
00:16:02.080 –> 00:16:08.560
M: Oh, yeah. Melted cheese is amazing. Yeah, no, it’s
incredible. And I was so sick all the time,
00:16:09.440 –> 00:16:14.560
that I didn’t care what it was. If I wanted
to eat something, I was going to eat it.
00:16:14.560 –> 00:16:18.720
The other thing I ate every day, and I had never
been a person to eat the same thing every day,
00:16:18.720 –> 00:16:27.200
but every single day for breakfast I had greek
yogurt and granola. Every day. Every single day.
00:16:28.000 –> 00:16:32.640
Because it was the only thing I could eat
in the morning, that didn’t make me gag.
00:16:34.480 –> 00:16:40.640
Pregnancy. It’s so fun. And it had a lot of
protein in it. And one of the pregnancy rules
00:16:40.640 –> 00:16:49.760
is that you’re supposed to eat 70 to 90 grams
of protein a day. It’s a lot. It’s a lot. So.
00:16:49.760 –> 00:16:56.080
And fats. And greek yogurt also has a good amount
of fat in it, if you get the full fat kind.
00:16:59.760 –> 00:17:04.320
So yeah, I don’t… How did I get on that
tangent? I was talking about eating
00:17:04.320 –> 00:17:07.453
and the rules around eating and how they
changed.
00:17:07.453 –> 00:17:14.453
H: Oh, you were talking about how you went about it and then you said generally you don’t like hard and fast rules.
00:17:14.453 –> 00:17:17.840
M: Yeah, yeah. So… And…
00:17:19.760 –> 00:17:26.320
Oh, the way that I went about it, is basically
that… That was a huge tangent! Good times!
00:17:28.240 –> 00:17:35.100
H: Welcome to our podcast. It’s gonna be
full of random, very long sidetracks, tangents, rants.
00:17:35.120 –> 00:17:38.880
M: Speaking of tangents: I’m filming
from below. So I’m gonna have a double
00:17:38.880 –> 00:17:44.320
chin this whole time and I’ve decided,
that I’m fine with it. And here we are,
00:17:44.320 –> 00:17:48.960
because I’m literally filming in my car.
These are… These are the options we have.
00:17:54.800 –> 00:18:01.440
The way, that I went about it was: If I was about to
eat something, and something tickled my memory, that
00:18:01.440 –> 00:18:07.760
like maybe this isn’t okay, or I thought, you know,
maybe this is something that there’s a rule about,
00:18:08.320 –> 00:18:12.000
I would look it up then. I didn’t
do any research ahead of time.
00:18:12.000 –> 00:18:17.920
Outside of like, what I knew from
pregnant friends, kind of a thing.
00:18:21.040 –> 00:18:27.040
Because, I knew, that I would struggle
with following the rules. And I knew,
00:18:27.040 –> 00:18:31.520
that therefore I would struggle with guilt and
00:18:34.400 –> 00:18:44.800
self-doubt. So I basically found out one by one. As
I would make a decision, what the rule was. And so
00:18:44.800 –> 00:18:51.920
over time I got a pretty good idea of what
all of the rules were. But I didn’t… I think
00:18:51.920 –> 00:18:58.000
I tried, when I was first pregnant to look up rules.
And I was immediately overwhelmed. Because there’s…
00:18:59.600 –> 00:19:06.320
And I looked it up before this podcast. There
are pages and pages and pages and pages of
00:19:06.320 –> 00:19:11.760
articles on: “What are the pregnancy rules you
really have to follow.” And “What are the pregnancy
00:19:11.760 –> 00:19:17.362
rules that you should know in your first trimester.”
and “What are the…”, like…
00:19:17.362 –> 00:19:21.785
H: Oh yeah, they also change within the pregnancy.
00:19:21.785 –> 00:19:23.134
M: They do, yeah.
00:19:23.134 –> 00:19:25.234
H: Oh, god…
00:19:25.234 –> 00:19:29.040
M: Yeah. So it’s…
It’s a beast. It’s a beast. And there’s so much.
00:19:31.840 –> 00:19:38.960
I mean, obviously you’re caring for a life that’s
not your own. And, so I make very different
00:19:38.960 –> 00:19:46.880
decisions about how much ice cream I eat, when it’s
just me. Versus how much ice cream I eat when all
00:19:46.880 –> 00:19:55.760
of that is gonna pass to my baby that’s the size
of a grape. You know. Like. And then my body and
00:19:55.760 –> 00:20:02.080
their body are gonna have to try to figure out
the insulin to deal with all of that, right.
00:20:04.560 –> 00:20:10.000
And that’s not to say I didn’t eat ice cream
during my pregnancy. I certainly did.
00:20:10.640 –> 00:20:18.320
But there’s just more that goes into the decision.
And I think that’s mainly what I wanted to get
00:20:18.320 –> 00:20:28.300
across. Is that, all of these are super individual
decisions. And yes, there are things, that…
00:20:28.300 –> 00:20:34.080
H: Sounds like we’re gonna be done in a minute. “That’s mainly what I wanted to get across. Okay, bye! I’m cold now, I’m going home.”
00:20:38.000 –> 00:20:43.500
M: I mean, that’s basically the main message so you
can stop listening now if you want. But…
00:20:43.500 –> 00:20:45.920
H: Okay.
00:20:46.560 –> 00:20:48.720
M: Bye Hanna! You seem like you’re ready to go.
00:20:51.920 –> 00:20:58.640
Catch you later. I think the main
issue with pregnancy rules is:
00:21:00.960 –> 00:21:01.840
How you process
00:21:04.960 –> 00:21:06.640
making the decision and then
00:21:09.360 –> 00:21:14.480
your own perception of your decision and then
other people’s perception of your decision.
00:21:15.280 –> 00:21:22.720
Right? Those are the parts of pregnancy
rules. Or any rules, right? Like, life rules.
00:21:24.160 –> 00:21:30.480
Or life decisions, period. Making the decision,
your own reaction to the decision, and then
00:21:32.240 –> 00:21:35.120
other people’s reaction to the decision. So…
00:21:38.400 –> 00:21:43.288
Hello again. I got a phone call. Wait, let me check my recording.
00:21:43.288 –> 00:21:45.147
H: Here we are, back again.
00:21:45.147 –> 00:21:45.920
M: Oh, I am good.
00:21:49.680 –> 00:22:01.200
H: I wanted to jump in and say, that I think the
more sure you are about your decision… So the steps
00:22:01.200 –> 00:22:09.360
that you said: Make your decision, then
analyze how you feel about that, and then how
00:22:09.360 –> 00:22:15.760
other people might feel about that. I think
the more work you do on the second part there,
00:22:16.560 –> 00:22:25.840
like: How do I feel about this? How sure am I
about this? How… all that stuff. The less impacted
00:22:26.480 –> 00:22:31.568
you’re gonna be about other people’s opinions on it.
00:22:31.568 –> 00:22:41.040
M: Yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh, speaking of other people’s opinions. I remember, when I was in my first trimester, I was literally just telling people.
00:22:41.040 –> 00:22:46.720
Well, I guess I was almost out of my first trimester. So
I was like 12 or 13 weeks, maybe even a little less.
00:22:47.600 –> 00:22:55.440
And I was… I went up to New York to
tell my grandma, that I was pregnant.
00:22:55.440 –> 00:23:01.440
This is her first great-grandchild and she
has eight children. So it’s kind of a big deal.
00:23:02.720 –> 00:23:10.480
I went up to tell her. And so I told the
rest of my family. And my aunt was over.
00:23:13.360 –> 00:23:16.720
And for some reason we were moving her
living room around. I think it was around
00:23:17.360 –> 00:23:21.120
after Christmas. So maybe that she was taking
the tree down, so we were moving the couches back
00:23:21.120 –> 00:23:27.920
to where they originally go. And these are old
couches with wooden frames that are super light.
00:23:29.760 –> 00:23:38.080
And I went to move one with my cousin. I
was like: “Come on, Kyle! Let’s do it!”
00:23:39.360 –> 00:23:50.160
And my aunt was like: “You can’t move that!” And I
was like: ” Wooo… Okay…” And it was fine. I was like…
00:23:51.600 –> 00:23:56.560
And to your point, I had looked it up. I
had… Because, you know, you hear, like, you
00:23:56.560 –> 00:24:02.000
can’t move heavy things during pregnancy.
And so, I had looked it up. And I knew,
00:24:03.360 –> 00:24:11.840
that the rule is: You can lift whatever you could
lift before. So like, anything that won’t put extra
00:24:11.840 –> 00:24:17.520
strain on your body, that you weren’t able to lift
before you were pregnant, is not going to put extra
00:24:17.520 –> 00:24:23.360
strain on your body while you’re pregnant, as long
as you do it carefully. This is what I found out.
00:24:23.360 –> 00:24:29.200
Maybe I’m wrong, but this was what I had
found out. And therefore, I felt very comfortable
00:24:29.760 –> 00:24:35.440
deciding to move this couch. Because I’ve moved lots
of furniture in my life. And it wasn’t very
00:24:35.440 –> 00:24:44.320
heavy at all. And so I was able to turn to her
and not be totally thrown off by this and say:
00:24:44.960 –> 00:24:48.960
“Actually, I looked it up, and I’m okay. I can
move whatever I moved before I was pregnant,
00:24:49.760 –> 00:24:58.880
now that I am pregnant. And I’m gonna be fine.”
So, but, yeah. If I hadn’t looked that up, I probably
00:24:58.880 –> 00:25:04.320
wouldn’t have moved the couch. And I probably would
have done a lot less moving, generally in pregnancy.
00:25:05.280 –> 00:25:08.320
Because of that old-fashioned
idea of: You shouldn’t
00:25:10.320 –> 00:25:14.880
do much when you’re pregnant to protect your body
and protect the baby. And it’s actually now the
00:25:14.880 –> 00:25:20.960
recommendation is the opposite. Which is: You should
exercise consistently throughout your pregnancy.
00:25:21.760 –> 00:25:25.600
Because it’s really important for your
health and for the health of the baby
00:25:26.720 –> 00:25:34.960
that you move around. And for me, I’m honest, if I’m
honest, that was mostly walking. And the walking
00:25:34.960 –> 00:25:39.920
mostly happened in my third trimester. Because that
was when C****d had started and I didn’t have to
00:25:40.720 –> 00:25:46.240
commute anymore. So I had an extra hour in my day.
So I, my partner and I walked 40 minutes a day.
00:25:47.120 –> 00:25:54.480
Which was great. It was wonderful and it was
super helpful. And I think, helped me through the
00:25:54.480 –> 00:26:04.000
end of my pregnancy. But again: Rules versus reality.
You’re supposed to exercise every day and do lots
00:26:04.000 –> 00:26:15.280
of moving around. I did some moving around. And
then also, when I, when my life became much more
00:26:15.280 –> 00:26:20.880
time full, then, when I wasn’t going anywhere or
doing anything else, I did a lot of walking.
00:26:22.160 –> 00:26:26.000
I mean, I think everyone did. All
the rest of my neighbors did too.
00:26:26.000 –> 00:26:28.109
We saw so many people in our neighborhood, that we had never seen before.
00:26:28.109 –> 00:26:30.720
H: Yeah,
everyone started walking in 2020.
00:26:32.560 –> 00:26:34.300
M: 2020, the year of outdoor walks.
00:26:34.300 –> 00:26:35.867
H: Right.
00:26:35.867 –> 00:26:46.134
I’m very glad, you explained this. Because I had always wondered. Like, what do moms do that already have a child? Like, let’s say I
00:26:46.134 –> 00:26:55.360
have a toddler and I’m used to carrying them. And like, that’s how… And then I’m pregnant and all of a sudden I’m not
00:26:55.360 –> 00:27:00.000
allowed to lift my child anymore. Like
how does that work? Like in real life?
00:27:00.000 –> 00:27:03.840
Let’s be realistic. I always wondered
about that. So now, that you said:
00:27:05.120 –> 00:27:10.880
You’re okay to lift whatever you were able
to lift before. You can continue doing that.”
00:27:10.880 –> 00:27:19.400
That makes a lot of sense to me. Because my
body already has all those muscles and … Bewegungsabläufe…
00:27:19.920 –> 00:27:26.320
is already used to these movements.
And knows what to tense up…
00:27:28.480 –> 00:27:33.840
M: Yeah. Well, and you do, you do have increased
relaxin in your body. Which makes all your
00:27:34.880 –> 00:27:38.480
ligaments and joints and all of the connective
tissue in your body a little bit looser.
00:27:39.680 –> 00:27:44.880
So you do have to do things consciously to avoid,
00:27:46.800 –> 00:27:51.120
you know, pulling something, or doing something
out of the ordinary. But again, if you’re used
00:27:51.120 –> 00:27:58.720
to doing that motion and you have that motion
in your body, you’re pretty much good.
00:27:58.720 –> 00:27:59.440
H: Yeah.
00:27:59.440 –> 00:28:03.840
M: Oh, we didn’t mention at the beginning, but we
are going to mention now: We are not doctors.
00:28:06.160 –> 00:28:11.556
We are not experts. We are not health
professionals.
00:28:11.556 –> 00:28:14.066
H: Dietitians, midwives, none of it.
00:28:14.066 –> 00:28:23.611
M: We’re not dietitians. We’re not midwives.
We are simply people that have been pregnant and are interested in pregnancy.
00:28:23.611 –> 00:28:32.628
And I feel like, to be
a pregnant person you do have to get at least an associate’s degree in being a pregnant person.
00:28:32.628 –> 00:28:43.760
You don’t have to, but it’s pretty easy to do that. But obviously, there is not an associate’s degree
of being a pregnant person. And I don’t have one.
00:28:43.760 –> 00:28:49.840
And this is my experience of pregnancy. There
are lots of reasons why a doctor would tell you
00:28:52.080 –> 00:28:58.160
not to put stress or something on your
body. And again, that’s the decision
00:28:58.160 –> 00:29:04.240
for your midwife or your doctor. And you
follow the instructions of your health
00:29:04.240 –> 00:29:08.560
professional, to the extent that you agree with
them.
00:29:08.560 –> 00:29:10.894
H: Megan, check your recording.
00:29:10.894 –> 00:29:11.840
M: I am going to.
00:29:17.920 –> 00:29:23.040
H: Yeah, I feel like, once you’re
pregnant, you all of a sudden
00:29:24.000 –> 00:29:26.880
have to become this expert
in all of these different
00:29:28.880 –> 00:29:43.360
fields. Like nutrition and movement and health
and… That is so much for a normal person
00:29:43.360 –> 00:29:49.840
with a normal life to take on. All this research
all of a sudden. I think it’s really,
00:29:49.840 –> 00:29:53.504
what’s that word, overwhelming.
00:29:53.504 –> 00:29:57.760
M: Yeah! You think?! You think it might be?!
00:30:00.640 –> 00:30:04.000
It’s very overwhelming. It’s super overwhelming.
00:30:04.000 –> 00:30:08.500
But you don’t have to become an expert in
all these things. Right? Like…
00:30:08.500 –> 00:30:11.334
H: No, but I think it might feel like that sometimes.
00:30:11.334 –> 00:30:14.400
M: Definitely.
It definitely feels like that sometimes.
00:30:15.360 –> 00:30:24.834
And what you do have to figure out, is where you want to get your information. Because, there are as many…
00:30:24.834 –> 00:30:30.080
H: Yeah. You’re gonna have to trust someone, some source, at some point. Because you can’t do all the research on your own.
00:30:30.080 –> 00:30:39.280
M: Yeah, exactly. So if you have a doctor that
you really trust, take their advice. If you have
00:30:42.000 –> 00:30:45.360
somebody that, if you have a midwife that
you really trust, take their advice. If you
00:30:45.360 –> 00:30:51.120
have a sister that did a lot of research,
certainly I think that’s a legitimate way
00:30:51.120 –> 00:30:56.720
to get your information. You know. Or if you
have a friend who like… One of my friends
00:30:56.720 –> 00:31:03.840
was pregnant right before me. And she is one
of those people that does too much research,
00:31:04.400 –> 00:31:10.720
in my opinion. But, no, she really wants to
know the right answer. And so she does all&
00:31:10.720 –> 00:31:17.440
the research. So oftentimes I will go to her to
find out what the research is that she’s done.
00:31:17.440 –> 00:31:25.120
I sometimes come to a different conclusion than
she did. But she has the breadth of information
00:31:26.800 –> 00:31:32.240
on a lot of topics. Like car seats. My car seat is
in the back there. You probably can’t see it.
00:31:34.240 –> 00:31:38.560
But, there was no way in hell I was going to do
all that car seat research. But I obviously
00:31:38.560 –> 00:31:42.240
want to get a good car seat. And I want to get
a car seat that my child is going to be safe in.
00:31:42.800 –> 00:31:49.120
And that is one of her, like, main things,
that she’s interested in. Is like: car safety and
00:31:51.120 –> 00:31:56.960
safety in terms of moving around in
the world. And so I know, and I knew,
00:31:58.160 –> 00:32:03.600
that she had done the research to figure out
what car seat I should get. And so I basically
00:32:03.600 –> 00:32:07.360
was just like: “Hey girl, what car seat should I
get?” And she was like: “This one.” And was like:
00:32:07.360 –> 00:32:13.626
“Thank you!” It was so great!
00:32:13.626 –> 00:32:20.948
H: I’m just thinking: I’m glad, that I know exactly who you’re talking about and that I have her number. I’m gonna hit her up.
00:32:20.948 –> 00:32:23.600
M: You definitely should. You definitely should.
00:32:26.400 –> 00:32:33.120
Yeah, so I think, basically figure out… If I were to
give someone advice in terms of pregnancy rules:
00:32:34.160 –> 00:32:36.320
Figure out where you want
to get your information from.
00:32:37.440 –> 00:32:42.720
And then use that source. And if there’s something
you’re unsure of, that you get from that source,
00:32:44.240 –> 00:32:50.480
do research on that. Don’t try to
research everything. Figure out what
00:32:50.480 –> 00:32:59.600
is most important to you and what other like
safety based decisions that you need to make.
00:33:01.280 –> 00:33:05.200
Figure out what the answer is
on those and for the rest of it
00:33:06.960 –> 00:33:12.560
find someone or some source that you trust. There are thousands of pregnancy books out there.
00:33:13.120 –> 00:33:19.200
Not all of them are gonna line up with what,
how you live your life and what you value.
00:33:21.120 –> 00:33:26.000
So try to find one that does. I
really liked pregnancy books because
00:33:26.880 –> 00:33:31.360
there was one place. I didn’t have to search online
and decide whether or not… Oh, sorry. I made the
00:33:31.360 –> 00:33:34.720
camera wiggle. …decide whether
or not I agreed with the author’s
00:33:35.440 –> 00:33:44.480
ethics or values or degree or whatever.
I found a couple of books that
00:33:46.080 –> 00:33:54.320
I knew where I lined up with them. And I knew
where I didn’t. And then I took their advice and
00:33:54.320 –> 00:33:59.120
researched individually. So if you’re trying
to stop, keep from being overwhelmed,
00:34:00.080 –> 00:34:07.760
and you’re okay with doing it that way, highly
recommend. That was, it helped me stay sane.
00:34:08.640 –> 00:34:13.920
There was a period of my pregnancy later,
when there was a lot more guilt and a lot more
00:34:15.520 –> 00:34:22.560
worry and concern around how I was eating and
how I was caring for my body. Because I was
00:34:24.560 –> 00:34:30.160
almost diagnosed with gestational diabetes.
I had like some higher numbers than
00:34:31.520 –> 00:34:40.080
you want to have. And so I did have to get,
well, I did choose to get a lot stricter with my
00:34:40.960 –> 00:34:46.640
eating, because of that. And that was a
little more fraught than the rest of
00:34:46.640 –> 00:34:50.960
my pregnancy decisions. But I’d say
most of them, that’s how I made them.
00:34:56.240 –> 00:35:02.867
H: Cool. I don’t want to go. This sounds like, it’s the end.
00:35:03.034 –> 00:35:06.640
M: Well, what do you got to add to it? Come on down.
00:35:08.400 –> 00:35:11.200
I monologued for a while. Now
you monologue for a while.
00:35:12.000 –> 00:35:13.381
This is how we talk.
00:35:13.381 –> 00:35:19.726
H: Well, I don’t know if I should.
Because I haven’t been pregnant yet.
00:35:19.726 –> 00:35:25.596
Like, I’m just theorizing and taking guesses about all of this.
00:35:25.596 –> 00:35:35.034
I can say that, what you just explained, is how I plan on going about it. Or how I have been so far.
00:35:35.034 –> 00:35:51.840
Like, I’m finding people, that I align with. That have similar values and live heir life similarly to mine. And I have been,
00:35:52.320 –> 00:36:01.920
like, jotting down notes of things that they say. Of
books that they’ve read, that they’ve gotten their
00:36:02.720 –> 00:36:13.200
advice from. And I’m going from there.
Which is maybe also why I haven’t done
00:36:13.200 –> 00:36:20.000
hardcore research in any of those. Because I like,
already know where I’m gonna get that information from.
00:36:20.000 –> 00:36:26.080
I already have a list of books that I know
I’m gonna want to read, when the time comes.
00:36:26.080 –> 00:36:31.840
I already have contacts, that I know, I’m going
to hit up for this subject, for this question.
00:36:34.400 –> 00:36:51.440
And my focus is more on what we said earlier:
To get an idea of what’s important to me and
00:36:51.440 –> 00:36:58.320
how I want to make decisions and how I want to go
about it. So I’m in tune with that. With the
00:36:58.320 –> 00:37:08.400
decisions, that I make. And also all of that with
my partner. Like, I have a lot of conversations
00:37:08.960 –> 00:37:14.160
with my partner and tell him what’s important
to me and ask him what’s important to him.
00:37:15.440 –> 00:37:18.446
So we have a common ground and are like…
00:37:18.446 –> 00:37:20.667
M: I’m going to start my car. Just, batterie…
00:37:20.667 –> 00:37:29.700
H: Yeah. …better doing research on similar things and getting our opinions from each other. Stuff like that. I got lost.
00:37:29.700 –> 00:37:35.200
M: I’m sorry, I distracted you. I apologize. My phone’s getting low battery.
00:37:38.720 –> 00:37:44.960
No,I think, that that’s an incredibly productive thing to do.
Figuring out, already figuring out where you want
00:37:44.960 –> 00:37:50.480
to get your information. And that is definitely
one of the advantages of planning to get pregnant.
00:37:51.040 –> 00:37:58.640
I don’t remember if we’ve talked about it
yet. But my pregnancy was not unplanned but it
00:37:58.640 –> 00:38:06.880
wasn’t entirely planned. Like, I wasn’t planning
to get pregnant when we made that baby.
00:38:10.240 –> 00:38:15.760
So I hadn’t done all of that yet. So I found out
I was pregnant and then had to figure out:
00:38:16.400 –> 00:38:20.800
What books do I want to read? And: Where do I want
to look for information? And all of that. And was…
00:38:21.920 –> 00:38:25.600
Obviously, if you can do that
beforehand, it takes all of the
00:38:25.600 –> 00:38:29.280
pressure off of it. Because I did feel like I have
to make a decision now. I have to make a decision
00:38:29.280 –> 00:38:34.640
now. I have to figure this out today. Because
every day not doing those things,
00:38:35.280 –> 00:38:39.040
every day, that I’m not doing the things
that I don’t even know that I’m supposed to do yet,
00:38:39.040 –> 00:38:48.800
I’m hurting my baby. Which is absolutely
not true. A hundred percent not true.
00:38:51.600 –> 00:38:57.840
But it’s easy to feel that way, if you are unprepared
for that second line on the pregnancy test.
00:38:59.360 –> 00:39:06.240
I had gone in a hot tub
that weekend. I’d had a drink. Like…
00:39:07.680 –> 00:39:14.080
It’s a time. Everything turned out
fine. Which is wonderful. But…
00:39:14.080 –> 00:39:18.880
And usually, everything is going to turn
out fine. But sometimes it doesn’t.
00:39:21.200 –> 00:39:26.080
That’s not because you went in a hot tub that weekend. And had a drink. Like, that’s not why things don’t turn out fine.
00:39:26.080 –> 00:39:34.960
H: Yeah. The temperature one is
one that I was wasn’t even aware of for a long time.
00:39:34.960 –> 00:39:43.920
M: Oh yeah. Oh, and I will say: I did end up doing
things that I didn’t need to do because I didn’t
00:39:43.920 –> 00:39:49.840
do a lot of research. So, like, I started not
sleeping on my back in the first trimester.
00:39:51.600 –> 00:39:59.200
And that’s not exactly what the rule is. Like,
it’s once your baby is heavy enough to compress
00:39:59.840 –> 00:40:04.240
things in… I still don’t even
really know what the rule is.
00:40:05.540 –> 00:40:10.880
But you don’t have to not sleep on your
back in the first trimester. I don’t think.
00:40:11.840 –> 00:40:17.680
But I started that way too early. And there was
something else, that I did, that turned out to be
00:40:18.640 –> 00:40:25.200
unnecessary. But it was just because I looked it
up, found something about it, and then followed
00:40:25.200 –> 00:40:29.680
the rule. Because I didn’t want to do all of
that extra research. So you might end up doing
00:40:29.680 –> 00:40:33.360
some things that aren’t necessary. But as long
as they’re not harmful, that seems fine to me.
00:40:36.400 –> 00:40:40.480
I did get a pregnancy pillow very early for
that reason. Because I was like: I need something,
00:40:40.480 –> 00:40:44.667
I need something… God, I love a pregnancy pillow.
00:40:44.667 –> 00:40:51.434
H: I have been looking forward to this for so long. I will be so happy when the day comes, that…
00:40:51.434 –> 00:41:02.400
M: Oh, I wish I could send you mine, man. It’s a big old U. It’s like a hot dog bun, that you just… you’re the hot dog
00:41:02.400 –> 00:41:08.080
and it’s the bun, and everything is beautiful, and
nothing hurts. Well, everything hurts a little less.
00:41:10.400 –> 00:41:13.760
H: I’ll come visit and trade you
your wedding dress for your pregnancy pillow.
00:41:17.360 –> 00:41:21.840
M: Perfect. Yeah. Yeah, for anyone that
doesn’t know: Hanna wore my wedding dress.
00:41:21.840 –> 00:41:25.360
Or, we wore the same wedding dress.
00:41:26.720 –> 00:41:32.080
Which is very exciting and you still have it.
So yes, I would like it back eventually.
00:41:32.080 –> 00:41:33.300
H: And I wore it more than you. I wore it twice.
00:41:33.300 –> 00:41:37.300
M: I know. You’ve worn it twice. Rude.
How dare you.
00:41:37.300 –> 00:41:40.100
H: And it’s living in my mom’s closet.
00:41:41.120 –> 00:41:43.067
M: Yeah.
00:41:43.067 –> 00:41:47.520
H: Okay, I’m ready to go now. Also:
My video’s getting dark.
00:41:47.520 –> 00:41:53.680
M: Okay. That’s awesome. Well, this works surprisingly well.
I feel like we had fewer… Sorry, I’m gonna check my phone again.
00:41:53.680 –> 00:42:01.634
…fewer technical difficulties than we
have had yet. So I’m pretty pleased.
00:42:01.634 –> 00:42:06.400
H: Yeah. And no baby background noises. Which I missed a little bit. But.
00:42:06.467 –> 00:42:16.080
M: Aww. Yeah. He’s pretty cute. Oh my god, he’s making like… He had been making almost exclusively raspberry noises up to this point. Like [makes raspberry noises]
00:42:16.720 –> 00:42:22.640
that kind of thing. And now he’s starting
to make vowel noises. And it’s so cute.
00:42:24.560 –> 00:42:32.467
And he’s doing like sentence cadence.
Like he’s doing the sentence melody. [Demonstartes baby noises.]
00:42:32.900 –> 00:42:43.267
It’s so cute. I can’t handle that. It’s very
loud, though. As that was probably, also. It was very loud.
00:42:43.267 –> 00:42:56.640
H: When I see him moving, because
he’s also doing a lot of moving, from from my perspective. I’m always like: “I’m not ready yet! I haven’t even met you yet. You can’t move yet!”
00:42:56.640 –> 00:43:03.760
M: He’s starting to army crawl! He’s
starting to move forward! It’s very exciting.
00:43:05.920 –> 00:43:13.500
H: Okay. This is unfair. We can’t gush about your child
that no one is gonna see.
00:43:13.500 –> 00:43:20.000
M: Look, he’s cute. Just trust me. All right. I love you. I’ll talk to you
later.
00:43:20.000 –> 00:43:22.000
H: I love you. This was cool.
00:43:24.000 –> 00:43:27.667
M: Yeah. I hope I didn’t wobble the camera too much. But you’re perched very precariously. So.
00:43:27.667 –> 00:43:34.834
H: I think it’s fine. All right. What do we want everybody to comment today?
00:43:34.834 –> 00:43:46.300
M: Oh! I want to comment…. I want to comment. I’ve already commented. I wanna know, what…
00:43:46.300 –> 00:43:50.300
So, first of all, I would like to know, what crazy
things people have told you you can and can’t do
00:43:50.320 –> 00:43:58.800
in pregnancy. Not that what my aunt told
me was crazy. I think it was very normal and
00:43:59.360 –> 00:44:03.920
very traditional, but… I wanna… I’m sure that
there are crazier things out there that people
00:44:03.920 –> 00:44:08.080
have been told that they can’t do. So I’d like
to know what people told you you couldn’t do.
00:44:10.867 –> 00:44:13.634
And how you make decisions about
00:44:15.200 –> 00:44:17.534
what rules you follow.
00:44:18.320 –> 00:44:23.234
And how you deal with people’s reaction to those.
Maybe that’s too many things. Maybe just the first two.
00:44:23.234 –> 00:44:27.600
H: The first one is the easiest. But
respond to whatever. We want to know all the things.
00:44:28.880 –> 00:44:34.300
Respond to whatever you want to respond to. And then
we’ll talk to you again next week.
00:44:34.300 –> 00:44:37.300
M: Sure will.
00:44:37.300 –> 00:44:38.300
M & H: Bye!
00:44:38.300 –> 00:44:48.501
[Music]
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